How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide

You usually have 24-48 hours to write an obituary before the funeral home needs it. That's not much time when you're also managing phone calls, paperwork, and your own grief.

Most obituaries are 200-400 words and follow a simple structure: who the person was, who they left behind, and when services are being held. You can write a solid draft in under an hour if you gather the basic facts first.

This guide breaks the process into simple steps so you can write a heartfelt obituary — even when it's hard to think clearly.

What to Include in an Obituary

Every obituary is different, but most follow a similar structure:

1. Full name and age - Include their maiden name or nickname if they were known by one.
2. Date and place of passing - Where and when they died. You can keep this general if you prefer.
3. Biographical summary - Where they grew up, went to school, career highlights.
4. Family members - Surviving family, preceded in death by.
5. Personal touches - Hobbies, passions, personality traits, favorite sayings.
6. Service details - Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial service.
7. Memorial donations - If the family prefers donations to a charity in lieu of flowers.

Step 1: Gather Information

Before you start writing, collect the basics:

• Full legal name, nicknames, maiden name
• Date of birth and date of passing
• Place of birth and current city
• Names of immediate family members
• Education and career history
• Memberships, military service, or volunteer work
• Hobbies, passions, and achievements

Don't worry about getting everything perfect right away. You can always revise.

Step 2: Write the Opening

The opening line establishes the tone. Here are a few approaches:

Traditional: "John Michael Smith, 78, of Austin, Texas, passed away peacefully on January 10, 2026, surrounded by his loving family."

Warm and personal: "The world lost a little bit of its sunshine on January 10, 2026, when John Smith left us at the age of 78."

Direct: "John Smith, beloved father and grandfather, died on January 10, 2026, in Austin, Texas. He was 78."

Choose a tone that feels right for your loved one. There are no rules - only what honors them best.

Step 3: Tell Their Story

This is the heart of the obituary. Think about what made them special:

• What did they love doing?
• What will people remember most about them?
• What were their proudest moments?
• How did they make others feel?

You don't need to write a complete biography. A few meaningful details paint a more vivid picture than a long list of facts.

Step 4: List Survivors and Those Preceded in Death

This section follows a standard format:

He is survived by his wife, Mary; children Sarah (David) and James; and four grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his parents, Robert and Helen Smith.

Include as many family members as the family wants to recognize.

Step 5: Add Service Details and Memorial Information

End with practical information:

• Visitation or wake details
• Funeral or memorial service date, time, and location
• Burial or cremation details (if public)
• Where to send donations or flowers
• A link to an online memorial page

Tips for Writing a Great Obituary

• Read it aloud - Does it sound like the person you knew?
• Ask family members to contribute memories or review the draft.
• Keep the length reasonable - 200 to 500 words is typical for a newspaper obituary. Online memorials can be longer. If you want something minimal, consider a simple obituary page.
• Writing for a veteran? See our guide to how to write a military obituary for rank formatting, service details, and a fill-in template.
• Need a short tribute for a yearbook or program? See how to write an in memoriam for examples and templates by format.
• It's okay to include humor if that reflects who they were.
• Don't feel pressured to explain cause of death - this is entirely your choice.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should an obituary be?

Most newspaper obituaries run 200-400 words. Online memorials can be longer. Short and specific beats long and generic — include everything essential, and cut anything that's only there for completeness.

What's the difference between an obituary and a death notice?

A death notice is usually just a few lines — name, date, and service details — published to notify the community. An obituary is a fuller tribute that tells the person's story. Many families publish both.

Do you have to include the cause of death?

No. Most families choose not to, and newspapers don't require it. If you want to mention it — for example, to raise awareness about an illness — that's entirely your choice.

Who typically writes the obituary?

Usually someone in the immediate family, most often whoever is closest to the person or has the strongest writing skills. Funeral homes will publish what you provide. If no one feels up to it, a funeral director can help draft something.

Can an obituary include humor?

Yes, if it reflects who the person was. A line about their stubbornness, their cooking, or their love of a terrible joke can make an obituary feel genuinely alive. Let it emerge naturally rather than forcing it.

Create a Lasting Online Memorial

A newspaper obituary fades, but a memorial website lives forever. With QuickMemorial, you can create a beautiful, permanent memorial page in just 5 minutes - complete with photos, biography, and a QR code for the gravesite.

It's free to get started, and there's no account or signup needed. For a full walkthrough of your options, see our guide to creating a free online memorial.

Planning the full service? See our complete funeral planning checklist.