How to Ask for Donations Instead of Flowers (Wording and Where to Put It)

Many families know they want to ask for donations instead of flowers. What they're less sure about is how to say it online without sounding awkward.

The easiest approach is to keep the message simple, specific, and placed where people are already looking for memorial information.

Where to Put the Request

Online, donation requests usually work best in one or more of these places:

• the memorial page
• the obituary notice
• the funeral home listing
• a family email or text message
• a social post sharing the memorial

The memorial page is often the most useful option because it keeps the donation link, tribute, and service details in one place. People arrive there already thinking about the person — which is exactly the right moment for a donation request.

What to Say

The simplest wording often works best. Here are examples for different contexts.

In an obituary or funeral notice:

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Joanne's memory to the hospice team that cared for her.

In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes contributions toward funeral expenses through the support page below.

On social media:

In honor of Michael, the family asks that donations be made to [charity name] rather than sending flowers. A link is available on his memorial page.

In a text or WhatsApp message:

We're asking people to donate to [cause] in place of flowers if they'd like to do something. Here's the link: [link]

In an email:

If you'd like to send something, the family has asked that flowers be replaced with a donation to [cause]. You can find the link below.

Short is fine. You don't need a paragraph of explanation.

What Makes It Feel Respectful

Online wording usually feels right when it's calm, specific, and optional in tone. Tied to the person's life or the family's situation, not just a generic ask.

Avoid phrases that feel transactional. Write the way you'd naturally explain it to a friend.

One thing that consistently helps: briefly explain why you chose that cause. "In memory of her 30 years as a teacher" or "in support of the research that kept him here longer" turns a donation request into something people want to participate in. A sentence of context does more than any amount of polished wording.

When to Include the Request

Timing matters more than most families realize.

If you include it in the obituary, it goes out once and reaches a wide audience quickly. That's good for large communities but means you can't easily update the link if something changes.

If you put it on the memorial page, you can update it later, add context, and direct people there from everywhere else.

For most families, the cleanest approach is to mention it briefly in the obituary, then link to the full memorial page for details. That way people have somewhere to go, and the request doesn't get lost once the obituary scrolls off.

What to Include Alongside the Donation Link

A donation request lands better with a little context around it. When you share the link, consider including:

• who the donation benefits (person, organization, or cause)
• a short sentence on why that cause matters
• clear instructions on how to give (especially if the link requires a few steps)

If the donation goes to a charity, linking to the charity's page directly is cleaner than asking people to search for it. If it goes to a family fundraiser, a brief note about what the funds are for helps people feel comfortable contributing.

Memorial Pages Make This Easier

When donation details scatter across messages, social posts, and event pages, links get lost.

A memorial page gives the request a stable home. It also lets people understand the donation in the context of the person's life, which usually makes the request feel more meaningful.

From a single page, someone can read the person's story, see their photos, understand the cause, and open the donation link right there. That's much clearer than a floating fundraiser link with no context.

Charity vs Family Support

If you're asking for donations instead of flowers, you'll need to choose between a charity link (sent directly to an organization) or a family support link (goes to the family for expenses).

Neither is automatically better. The best choice depends on what feels most honest and most useful to your family. If you're deciding between those two paths, this charity vs family fundraiser guide is the right next step.

For specific phrasing you can copy into an obituary, funeral program, or memorial page, see memorial donation wording examples. It includes "in lieu of flowers" lines, donation-in-memory-of and donation-in-honor-of wording, and thank-you message templates.

If you want to keep the tribute and donation request in one place, QuickMemorial lets families add an external donation section without handling the money itself.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it rude to ask for donations instead of flowers?

No. Most people appreciate knowing exactly how they can help. A donation to a meaningful cause is often more personal than flowers. The key is keeping the wording gentle and the choice clearly optional.

What's the best phrase for "in lieu of flowers"?

The most common phrasing is "In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [cause or link]." You can also use "In memory of [name], the family welcomes contributions to..." Both feel natural in obituaries and on memorial pages.

Can I ask for donations for funeral expenses instead of a charity?

Yes. Many families use a fundraiser to help cover funeral costs, especially when a death is unexpected. There's no rule that the donation must go to charity. Being straightforward about the purpose usually makes people more likely to give.

Where should I put the donation link?

The most reliable place is the memorial page, where it stays accessible and can be updated. Include a brief mention in the obituary or social post directing people there.

Do I need to acknowledge donations I receive?

A brief thank-you message — in a follow-up post, email, or through the fundraiser platform — is appreciated but not required. If you're using a fundraiser platform, many allow you to send messages to donors directly.